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My Glass is Half-full (kinda sorta)

Updated: Mar 20, 2022

by Dr. James L Miles | Feb 14, 2022


My glass is still half full, even though…

Yes, those three dots at the end could be replaced with a wide and varying range of responses:

  • even though I’m exhausted after hanging out with friends and family all day

  • even though they really got on my last nerve

  • even though things didn’t go the way I wanted

I’m sure you could fill out your own list of closing words to that opening statement. Overall, the way we end that statement is more a reflection of how we feel about the experience than the actual mechanics of what took place during the experience. In Resilient Village we’ve been intrigued by this distinction between situational mechanics and a person’s perception of those mechanics. One common lens used to judge our interactions with others is Social Exchange Theory coined in 1958 by George Homans. The following formula sums up a general explanation of Social Exchange Theory:

Outcome/Benefit = Reward – Cost


Using our opening statement, my glass being half full after an extensive interaction suggests that I experienced a beneficial outcome of our time together. Going a little further, this suggests that my perceived cost (time, money, energy, etc.) was more than overshadowed by the perceived reward received during the same experience. This formula is very helpful in providing a framework for assessing how and with whom we spend our time. Particularly when it’s time to look at what outcomes are desirable versus the outcomes that are less than desirable. There is also a caution to how we apply this theory. In Resilient Village, our client work is teaching us that some individual and group interactions may not fit neatly into the ‘risk – reward’ box. Our intercultural and intracultural work highlights this caution more than other aspects of our client work. At times socialization, changes in social context, and change in personal values or ideology can significantly shift how individuals understand or justify their risk – reward behavior. I may take on a high level of risk with limited immediate reward, because “I believe it is the right thing to do”.


The Resilient Village team created an exploratory course called the Smart (R)Evolutionary (SRE) to help our partners design their own strategies for creating organizational and system level change from a place of social-emotional coherence and community engagement. The SRE course starts by walking participants through three pillars of reflection: personal coherence practice; community development and engagement intentions; and projected outcome goals. Once these three pillars are explored, each participant will create an executable strategy, test the assumptions of that strategy, and develop an implementation plan. All this is completed while increasing the personal capacity to remain coherent and model resilience in the process!

This is a dynamic, facilitated course journey that causes everyone to benefit, even beyond what was expected in many cases. So I guess the Social Exchange theory’s usefulness remains evident even if the risk-reward calculation does not fit neatly into the box.


Share how you gauge whether a social connection is worthy of your time and energy!

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